15 Ways To Speak With Confidence and Be Taken Seriously

Speaking with confidence is usually a problem for many people. It doesn’t have to be a problem for you.

Being able to speak confidently in conversations and in public is important to success and will gain respect. Here is a breakdown of the steps you can take to be a confident speaker.

Speaking

• The 3-second rule. When you’re speaking with someone, take 3 seconds before you respond. This may seem awkward at first, but it gives you a chance to do a lot of things before you say something you might regret. In addition to letting you think about what you’re going to say, it also allows room for them to continue talking. If they feel uncomfortable in the silence, you’ve gained the upper-hand.

• Have a plan. Go into the conversation with a plan and think about the responses you are likely to get. Play it out like a chess game. Where each move you make has an effect on them, and vice versa.

• Be comfortable. Use your plan to leave room for awkwardness on their part. If they feel like they are fumbling for words and trying to gain your confidence in them, then you’re in control. You have to be comfortable and relaxed enough so that you can say what you want without feeling stupid.

• Don’t talk so much. When you don’t say much, people have to try and assume what you’re thinking. Getting inside your head is much harder than knowing what you feel or think.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
-Mark Twain

• Think about what you say. Take some time to think about what you’re going to say. You’re bound to run into snags, but if you can recover well it will look planned. So take a second and think before you start talking.

• Diction. Enunciate and speak well. Make sure to pronounce your T’s. Try some tongue twisters to improve your diction. Here are a few of my favorites:

She sat upon the balcony inimically mimicking him and amicably welcoming him in.

You have to be careful with this one.

She plucked mother pheasants. She was the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker I ever did meet.

• Use proper English. You will sound smarter, more confident, and feel better. Colloquialisms are great for friendly conversation but not for confident speaking.

Body language

• Don’t smile so much. People take smiling as a sign of warmth but also a sign of emotional involvement. The more distant you are, the harder it is for someone to disregard you.

• Look them in the eye. This shows confidence and makes the other person know you mean business.

• Don’t look down. People believe that if you are looking down you don’t know what you’re talking about. They might also think you are lying. Fight the urge to look at your feet and look into the other person’s eyes instead.

• Show less emotion. The less emotion you show the more people are likely to really listen. Now, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be passionate. Just don’t get crazy excited like Howard Dean. Instead, use your passion to fuel your speech.

• Don’t blink so much. Next time you’re watching a movie during a serious scene, watch the actor’s eyes. If they are good, you will notice they barely blink, if at all. The more people can see your eyes the more sincere they believe you to be.

In general

• Make sure your body language and speech patterns match. If one is exciting and the other dull this will confuse your listeners and make them feel unsure about what you’re saying.

• Practice. Practice your voice, speaking in front of a mirror, and practice with people you are comfortable with. The more you do it, the easier it will come.

By speaking well and having your body language in check you will be able to speak more confidently and be taken seriously. Use these tips in conversation, presentations, and every day speaking and you will be respected.

Now go own the world.

The Art of Talking to Strangers

I’ve travelled all over the world, from New York to Cape Town, Rio de Janeiro to Tokyo. I’ve had the privilege of working with brilliant minds. A few years ago I learned French, and mastered the language well enough to speak in horrible slang with a fully authentic accent. I bought my first house not even 72 hours after my first ever house-shopping expedition, and only hours before I was due on a plane to Australia.

But the single most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done was to make a habit of talking to strangers.

Nothing has changed my world view, and my life, more than taking the risk of saying “Hi” to people I don’t know on a regular basis. Whether I’m walking down a busy shopping street, longboarding in the park, or out at a nightclub, I see every moment that I’m out in the world as a chance to meet new people.

How to Become a Social Skydiver

I can’t help but geek out on almost everything I do. Dating, relationships, and social circle building are no exception. I set goals in those areas and take action to achieve them. Here’s the recipe I use for bringing new people into my life, whether it’s making new friends around common interests, meeting women, or making business contacts.

1. Figure out what you want. What kind of social life do you want? What kind of people do you want to meet? Do you want a serious girlfriend or something more casual? Knowing what you want helps you focus on spending your social time in productive ways.

2. Smallchunk it. Start with smaller daily or weekly goals to propel you in the right direction. For example, a few years ago I decided to give up online dating forever, and meet girls only through real world means. I started by going out and just making eye contact with girls in the street, too shy to even open my mouth. I worked my way up to deeper interactions in various social situations. These days, I can go from no love life whatsoever to dating in a week or two.

3. Let go of your ego. I’ve been told to “Fuck off!” I’ve been ignored. I’ve been brushed off in dramatic fashion. I’ve also met and dated women of unique vintage and beauty. When you take the risk of talking to someone you don’t know, rejection is the only certainty. But failure is exciting–it’s a chance to learn and improve. There’s a name for guys who never get rejected by women, never say the wrong thing, and never have their ego bruised by the opposite sex

4. Get out of your house! Don’t spend months trying to get past step #1. Even if you’re not sure exactly what you want, get out of your house and start opening up to the world. Motivation follows action, and experience will help inform your objectives.

How to Approach People

I prefer to keep my conversations fairly organic. I don’t like coming in with “canned material”, “nuclear attraction” routines, or other social robotics. The best way, in my experience, is to come from the heart and live fully in the moment.

What you say isn’t nearly as important as how you say it. Socializing is about exchanging energy, not being a wordsmith. When in doubt, just say “Hi”.

If you’ve never done this before, you may get brushed off several, even dozens of times until you get really comfortable being yourself in front of other people. Attractive women are highly socialized. A girl can sense your nervousness and anticipated rejection, and will take no prisoners when shooting you down.

That’s okay. It’s normal. Pat yourself on the back for having the balls to do what 95% of men around the world couldn’t do if their life depended on it. Then move on to the next one.
What I’ve Learned from Talking to Strangers

Talking to strangers has, literally, changed my world view and my life. It’s taught me so many things that I could never have learned from a book. Here’s what I’ve taken away from my experiences thus far:

* People don’t bite. A lot of people are really open to conversation. In fact, you’d be amazed at how many girls will be practically overjoyed that you came and talked to them, as if they’ve been waiting for you to approach them.

* Rejection is no big deal. I can’t repeat this enough. Still, fear of rejection will be the main reason why guys don’t go out and try this. If you are willing to get rejected, brush it off and keep going, you will have an awesome sex life. Period.

* Authenticity is the silver bullet. An honest individuality is the most magnetic of human qualities. But keep in mind that buying a girl a drink and showering her with compliments is not being sweetly authentic; it’s saying “I want to sleep with you.”

* The people around you aren’t watching. And, even when they are, it’s usually in shock and awe, rather than because they’re laughing at you.

* Other guys will get out of your way. You’ll be amazed how often other guys simply fade into the background when you approach their female friends.

I could go on, but ultimately it comes down to you experiencing it for yourself.
One Approach a Day

If you’re still terrified by the idea of talking to strangers, I’d recommend one specific challenge to get you started, which I’ve done myself: Talk to one stranger a day, every day, for 30 days.

If you’re walking past a girl on the sidewalk, say “Hi”, and she looks at you and keeps walking (done that many times), your job is done for the day. If you walk up to a girl in a club and say “Hey!”, and she responds, with a slightly grossed out look “I have a boyfriend.”, congratulations, you’re one step closer to improving your love life. The point of this exercise is to get you used to talking to people you don’t know and form the habit of being more social.

Talking to strangers will change your life. You’ll meet new people every day, you’ll give yourself control over your social and love life, and you’ll experience firsthand the joy of living dangerously.

11 Ways to Exercise Your Brain

In order to stay sharp, it is important that you exercise your brain. The less we use our minds, the duller they become. There is a lot of emphasis these days on staying physically healthy, but we should also be concerned for our mental well-being. Our brains continue to expand and adapt to the stimuli they receive throughout our lives. The more we take care of our brains, the better thinkers we become. Here are twenty ways that you can develop a training regimen for your brain!

1. Read a good book.

Reading a book stimulates the imagination. Your brain can’t keep from drawing mental pictures when you read. Reading gets your mind off its butt and to work. I love to let a book carry me away. I always have a book that I’m reading and sometimes I have 3 or 4! I get most of my books from the library to avoid the cost of buying each one. This also allows me to try a wide variety of books without risk.

2. Brain Training Academy.

Video games have a bad reputation for causing brain rot, but there are some that will actually help you strengthen your mind. I like Brain Training for DS. It is a collection of brain teasers that tests your mental acuity. The tests are entertaining and addicting. You can even compete with others which makes for some great family fun.

3. Practice meditation.

Don’t worry, I’m not going off the new age deep-end here. There are a lot of different forms of meditation. To me, in its most simple form, meditation is about spending a little time alone to relax and center your thoughts. It is amazingly therapeutic.

4. Get plenty of rest.

A lack of sleep can interfere with your ability to assimilate new information. This means those all-nighters you pulled back in college were much less effective than you thought. Your brain needs rest to operate at its peak performance. This may be why things always seem clearer and brighter after a good night’s sleep.

5. Exercise regularly.

You didn’t think you were going to get away without a little time on the treadmill did you? Cardiovascular exercise improves blood flow to the brain which improves brain functioning. One study found that physical exercise actually helped to increase the volume of the brain. So, if you want a bigger, better brain, then get to exercising!

6. Eat a good breakfast.

It is not a myth. Eating a good breakfast does get you off to a better start. You should eat a breakfast high in protein and good carbohydrates. A couple of pieces of whole-grain toast with peanut butter will fit the bill. Eggs are also an excellent source of protein. Nuts, milk, and fresh fruit are also great ways to feed your brain.

7. Think positive thoughts.

Encourage yourself. I am convinced that positive thinking increases the effectiveness of the brain and helps to avoid things like depression. I like to say that your brain works much like a computer, garbage-in, garbage-out. Find positive, encouraging people to hang around, read material that jazzes you up, do whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself. These things will also help you be more mentally productive.

8. Be a continual learner.

Never stop being curious about your world. Seek out new experiences, skills, and knowledge. Think of something that you’ve always wanted to learn to do and then get started. A now famous study A now famous study, showed that certain areas of the brains of London cab drivers were more developed compared to the average citizen. This was due to their need to learn how to navigate the maze of downtown streets. We can use this technique of challenging our brains to improve our abilities.

9. Lay off the alcohol.

Alcohol is of course a depressant. It slows down mental functions. The effects of alcohol on a person’s cognitive ability is well-documented. If you need peak mental performance, then stop drinking alcohol. In addition to its obvious effects, it also decreases the restfulness of one’s sleep which, as we have already discussed, impedes your ability to think clearly.

10. Get romantic

Studies have shown that there may be a link between requalr sex and improved brain performance in woman. Love-making increases a woman’s estrogen levels and higher estrogen levels are tied to better mental performance. Of course, the mental benefits probably do not outweigh the risks, unless you are in a faithful, monogamous relationship.

11. Break your routines.

Drive a new way to work. Try writing with your less dominant hand. Mix things up a little. This perks up your brain because it requires you to think more. You aren’t just running on auto-pilot. Challenge your brain by getting out of your routines and it will respond. This is a great way to get your mental juices flowing.